We all have a back story on how we got to where we are today - this is mine. It was 2007, I was 36 years old, I was going through a divorce for the second time; my dreams shattered again. I was a single mum of three children with no training or education in any particular profession, and no sustainable way to support them. ‍ I was at the lowest point of my life.

My childhood was full of trauma and I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety at the age of 10 years old and I continued to struggle through my teenage years being surrounded by family members who were struggling with addictions.

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always felt my feelings in my stomach. Sadness like a dull ache, happiness like butterflies or a deep wrenching fear. I remember from an early age just being so afraid. Mostly of what people thought but also what people might do. Would they hate me? Would they reject me?

I was in an abusive relationship for 6 years. It began when I was 19 years old. Six years of my life I spent with someone who I did think I truly loved and loved me back. There was always excuses for his behaviour, which made me see past it. He had mental health issues, drug addictions, so it was always the excuse for his actions. I spent 6 years scared, walking on eggshells.

For the rest of my pregnancy I struggled to keep food and drink down. I started feeling exhausted from trying to stop myself from vomiting and looking after my daughter. I started thinking ‘what have I done?’ ‘Why did I turn my life back upside down when it was going so well?, ‘why did I think having a baby would be a good idea?’ ‘My freedom that I just started to enjoy is gone for at least 5 years.