For a long as I can remember I have dealt with a crippling sense of inadequacy. As a young girl I had the core belief that I was not good enough - there was always a reason I was not good enough.
Eventually at the age of 17, I had a nervous breakdown. My doctor informed me I had generalised anxiety disorder and mild/ moderate depression.
In that moment I felt embarrassed and ashamed.
I must really be sucking at life if I am an anxious and depressed I thought. I tried everything to remedy the core feeling that I was broken. I found myself zealously praying to God, begging him to fix my hopeless soul. Now after years of therapy, I have realised something very important:
I am not broken just because I am anxious.
It is a slow journey but I am learning to be more self compassionate. I am slowly diffusing the shame and frustration I feel from having tough days.
For those who also experience anxiety and depression, I want you to know that we are not “messed up” or “broken” in fact we are courageous human beings and deserve to live a full, wholesome life no matter what shortcomings we face.