On a Monday morning, 5th November 2018, I got the worse phone call of my life. My dad died so suddenly. Words still can't describe how I feel because I still feel so empty and numb. I cannot accept it right now. So I went doctors and have been diagnosed with depression. I have never experienced this before. Just a horrible dark cloud on me all the time feel so lonely so isolated.
Going through many emotions anger and crying all time and I just wish it would stop.
Thinking why am I like this. I feel like I'm ashamed. No-one understands me. I can’t talk about it with family because I don't want to burden them as they are all go in through heartbreak as well. I bottle things up and I have so much sitting on my shoulders so many sad thoughts in my head. I want to be me again but how? I feel so tired so miserable. Will i ever be the same again?
Grieving is so hard and so painful.
Grieving and depression is so hard and every day is a battle to get up and to start the day. I have to take it one day at a time, everyday is a challenge.
I'm having my first counseling session soon and it's going to be so hard but I have to talk about this because bottling up will not help me. I need to be strong again for my two kids x