In 2015, I found a way to leave my abusive partner.
I had spent 5 years loving a man who belittled me, called me names, treated me poorly, and left me bruised and broken.
For 5 years he slowly but surely tore me apart, and by the time I actually left, I was but a shell of who I used to be. I had begun to believe the words he so readily used to describe me - "useless bitch", "worthless", "stupid cow", "fat, ugly mummy". And still I loved him.
I wished for better days, for him to love me like he used too, for me to be good enough for him again, for all the things I did to mean something to him, but everyday I struggled to be enough, and everyday I walked on egg shells praying I would not bear the brunt of his anguished soul once again.
After I left him, I wore the hurt he left behind on my face for 3 weeks. Every time I looked in the mirror i felt ugly, used, abused, and left to deal with the woman he had torn apart. And after those physical bruises cleared up, I had to deal with all the internal scars left behind. It was those injuries that took the longest to heal. It was during this time, after separation, that the abuse online began. I was torn apart by the way he publicly humiliated me across social media platforms. I could not have felt more ashamed, frightened or depressed.
It's been 3.5 years since I left. I still live with fear and anxiety, but I am coping.
Now I truly believe I am a resilient, strong, beautiful woman. I have rebuilt my life, and my self worth.
I want to share my story with you, and with other women, so that others may know they are not alone in their suffering. And that all of us struggling to rebuild ourselves after hurt can do it, and can help one another along the way.